Advice For A Girl

Posted on Sun Sep 7th, 2025 @ 2:19am by Tessa di'Orion & Lieutenant Commander Alexander Espersen

Mission: A Princess Of Tial
Location: Observation Deck

It was one of the few places Cass'e'Indira would let her go by herself and these days it was only if there was verifiable fact that Ensign Henry Taylor was somewhere else. And that was one of the problems that Tessa had come here to escape. She had a dilemma and she didn't know who she could go to about them. Cass was out, because she would tell her one thing, the thing that she herself knew and wouldn't hear ANYTHING other than what she wanted to hear about.

But then there was Kally, who no doubt had seen what had been going on with Henry and her, in fact had done nothing but encourage the two of them. In her excitement, Tessa had even been going over with the doctor everything that had gone between them, from the kissing to the cuddling and that sort. But it hadn't gone further than that because she knew what was awaiting her at the end of this journey. And so she had to go somewhere and be by herself. It was off the main corridor, not often used by the look of it and it gave her a chance to look at the Veil of Asta, which they were passing through, reminding her how close they were getting to home and all of her problems.

The observation deck was also a place commonly visited by Alexander Espersen. When not in use it was quiet, and if they were in the vicinity of some interesting sight it was usually quite lovely. Even when they were at warp, the stars streaking by made a most peaceful view. Something to calm the mind while he sketched.

He had not been expecting there to be anyone there, least of all the young woman. “My Lady. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

Tessa started at the new sound and hastily wiped her eyes free from tears before putting on a wholly fake smile and turning around, seeing the ship's second in command there, "You.. You didn't interrupt me, My Lord, I was just admiring the Veil as we pass through it. It's one of the things that has kept our world unknown to the rest of the galaxy and means that we're very close to home. Didn't Lady Skyie say that we're under two days away from arriving?" Her voice had wavered only a little bit.

“We are,” he answered, nodding. “The Veil, you call it. It’s beautiful. But as we get closer to your home, something is troubling you, it seems.”

"I'm just wondering how they're going to react to the fact that I'm still alive and returning home." Tessa half-lied to him, not wanting him to feel like he should be concerned about what was bothering her personally, "It's been over a year since we left and not much less time since we were attacked. By now they must have believed we were all dead. Much has changed, My Lord, I bring back a wealth of knowledge and hopefully new allies, or at least friendly relations."

He studied the young woman carefully, listening to her tone and inflection. As a professor at the Academy he had heard a great many excuses and learned to distinguish the honest ones from the less whole truths.

But this wasn’t his student. She was a dignitary, so his usual tactic would not be appropriate.

But beyond that…this was also just a young girl. An adult by her species’ standards but barely.

“May I be direct with you, My Lady?” he asked.

"Of course, My Lord." The young lady inclined her head gracefully.

He smiled. “To put it plainly, you’re not saying your true meaning. Not completely anyway. You are certainly nervous about how your homeworld, and your family, will react to seeing you alive. But that’s not all that has you apprehensive.” He lifted his hands in a display of apology and surrender. “You need not tell me, of course, I’ll gladly respect your privacy. But as First Officer I’m more than happy to listen, or offer suggestions. I’ve lived a bit longer than most others on the ship. Maybe wisdom came with that.” Heh. Not sure anyone would agree with that, but who knows.

"My Lord?" Tessa tried to keep the front up, but her lower lip quivered as he had hit the nail on the head and suddenly her face crumbled into one of combined defeat and anguish, "I... You're right, My Lord, it's not all right. None of this is all right, I've made a horrible mistake and it's all going to come falling apart. I don't know what to do."

“Tell me,” Alexander said. He reached an arm out, beckoning her to join him at a pair of seats with good visibility of The Veil outside.

“My Lord.” Tessa started off, then stopped as she tried to gather her words, “I owe you and your crew much, more than I could repay and I know it. I know that you’ll wave it off as what your Federation does and just as it’s your culture, or cultures, mine is just as stringent in its own way. I am of the Korashe, what you could call the elite of our world, but that is because I have golden hair, but I am also the daughter of one of our political leaders and the heir to a barony. This means that I’m destined to produce heirs of my own with carefully picked others that can bring new alliances to my home of Light’s End or to bring high level war priests to my father’s support. As a princess, for all purposes, it’s the burden I was born with.”

Tears had begun to well in her eyes and the first of this new batch had already started to drip down her cheeks, “But in my time here on Chimera, I have found people that have supported me in my efforts to learn more about the peoples that make up the Federation, taught me much more in the medical arts than I knew, showed me miracles that could never happen at home. And then I found someone that I find I care about more than I should. I knew from the beginning that I couldn’t keep him, it is impossible, for several reasons. He’s not Tialan and even worse, he’s dark-haired. Even if I convince Mother or Father to allow a Pairing with someone from your ship, he would be unacceptable on that last alone, much less that he has no title or rank or Tialan. It is our tradition, our customs and they are ironclad.”

Tessa reached up with the back of one hand and wiped ineffectively at her cheeks, “I can’t change that and I’ve known it from the beginning, but I can’t change what I’m feeling. But I can’t let that affect what will happen. If I ignore our traditions, I’ll be cast out at best, executed, or worse. I don’t know what to do.”

Alexander sat quietly and listened. He was near enough to the replicator that he quickly produced a handkerchief and gave it to Tessa.

"What we feel in our hearts and what we know with our heads do not always align," he said sadly. "I do have a thought on this. Maybe something you've not considered. Would you like to hear it?" A student would have received his advice -- nay, his truth -- unsolicited, but not this time.

"Right now, My Lord, I'll take any thoughts." Tessa sniffled, wiping her face and eyes with the fabric square, "But I believe I've considered every facet of this horrible gem."

He looked her in the eyes. "I'd like you to consider what you will regret more in ten years. Or twenty. Or fifty. I don't know how long Tialans live," he admitted. "One outcome or the other will greatly affect your future, in part for the better, in part for the worse."

He took both of her hands in his. "One option means denying very strong feelings, being permanently disconnected from someone you care about greatly. The other option sounds like exile. Don't worry about the prospect of execution, as I expect our good Captain wouldn't let that happen," he said with a slight smile. "Twenty years from now. You're on Tial, paired with someone you had no say in. You're home, and you're certainly important, respected, beloved even. But the person here has been gone forever, never to be seen again.

"Or," he continued, "you're somewhere else. Anywhere else, really. Maybe in the Federation. Maybe you're still with this very special person, the happiest family ever. But you aren't home, and people who once loved you consider you dead."

"My Lord, you have absolutely no idea what you're suggesting." She squeezed his hands, not sure if it was in frustration, anger, or sadness, "You are saying that I have a chance to spend my life with He- Someone I care about, but only if I turn my back on everything I have ever known and who I am. I cannot do that." Tessa shook her head, flourishing the hand that was tattooed up to the forearm, "I am who you see me to be, I am a Priestess of Urd, a scion of Light's End, I am Tialan. My duty to my people, MY people, overrides any personal desires."

He let go of her hands and picked up the art book that he'd previously set on the table. He opened it up to a page in the middle. "I'd like to show you a picture I drew many years ago, but you must promise never to tell anyone, especially not the Captain, or Doctor Kellerman."



"You have my word." She said simply, then looked down at last, "She's very pretty, but who is she?"

“Her name is Najaat. Najaat Espersen.” He looked at the image, a sadness in his eyes. “Or she may have gone back to Najaat Naqvi. We haven’t spoken in…wow, nine years now.” He looked again at Tessa. “A little bit before that, I was, well, hurt quite badly, and I shut down completely. I became despondent. Aimless. She couldn’t handle…” he took a deep breath, “no, that isn’t fair, she shouldn’t have needed to be responsible for that, so she left to find her own happiness. Since coming here I’ve been doing some healing, a bit at a time. This crew has helped. But I keep thinking back on big regrets. Sure, if I had found help earlier I might have made Captain by now, but that’s nothing compared to her. I made choices that drove her away. And I can never undo that. I have to live with it, the loneliness and the anger, every day.” He wiped a tear from his eye. “What will you regret more, Tessa? Will you regret leaving behind your home and your role there? Or leaving behind the person you care about here?”

Tessa's heart sank as she considered one or the other situation and realized that they were both untenable. Henry? Or Home? She was dragged in both directions, as if by two zetreen tied to her and sent opposite each other. "I am Priestess Second Class of Urd'a'Neta Tessa'e'Sera di'Orion, Heir to the Barony of Light's End, Daughter of the Light of the Eastern Watch." She stated firmly, eyes unfocusing as she looked back out the window at the Veil, trying to find a way out, then her eyes shot to Alex, "Can you order the Captain to change course? To not go to my homeworld?"

A smile crept across his face. “I’m afraid orders go from her to me, not the other way, my Lady. That said, I can ask her. But she will ask me to justify my request, and I’ll only be able to say that it’s because you asked me to. I can stand beside you while you ask, if you’d like.” Try to save this girl from the same regrets I had. I hope you’d be proud of me, Najaat.

"Would she?" Tessa asked, hope in her voice, "Then we should go find her immediately! Before we breach the Shell!"

“She would,” Alexander assured her. “But do you want to see this through first? What’s better, to flee, or to stand tall before your family, honour intact, making your wishes known? And then ask to leave with us. I can assure you, the Captain would agree to keep you on.”

The spark that had been in Tessa's eyes started to fade, "If we make planetfall, the choice is lost to me. Tradition and custom would prevent me from asking... And..." She trailed off.

“And?” Alexander gently pressed.

"Duty and honour." Tessa said, "My duty to my people, to pass on what I have learned, the values that your Federation has shown me, to make my world a better place."

He took a breath. He could appreciate that too. Despite the circumstances, and how truly awful all of his students could be, teaching was a great pride in his life. But he chose that life.

“Among those values espoused by the Federation is freedom of choice,” he affirmed. “Not a single person is bound by destiny or bloodline. Everyone on this ship serves because they choose to serve. And we do so openly, proudly, in uniform. My Lady, the only duty you are born to is the duty to yourself. Everything else is a choice. Make your choice, but do so with honesty. And borrow our strength, for we will be there. And there is no way we would allow a young woman to come to harm for choosing her own path.”

"And that is the difference between the Federation and my people. We are born to our duties, the Korashe to rule and to guide, the Sentar to serve and obey. For twenty-three thousand years of recorded history, it has been so. We have dipped our toes into equality with one another, but it will take a long time before it becomes true." Tessa said sadly, "I did not have a choice in the matter, because of my birth." She finally stood, "I thank you, My Lord, I think I may have discovered what I need to."

Alexander stood with her. He would not pry at this point. She was making her choice, with all of the information at hand, and with all the support of the Chimera crew available to her. “My Lady. We shall reach Tial in approximately six hours. May I escort you back to your quarters?”

“Of course, My Lord,” Tessa said, working her face into what could be seen as a face of inscrutability, showing nothing, then clasped her hands behind her back, “I truly do appreciate everything you and your people have done, my own will be suitably grateful.”

"Any time, My Lady," the First Officer said as he closed his art book and guided the young Tialan out of the observation lounge and back toward her room, for the last few hours before her arrival home.