Running From, Running To

Posted on Sat May 3rd, 2025 @ 12:39am by Captain Natalya Markova

Mission: Lower Decks
Location: USS Chimera

ON

Each footfall sounded dull in the open air. Nat hated running in the holodeck. It just didn't feel right. The atmosphere was never what you wanted. Yet the limitless control allowed for tinkering with everything. Nat just wanted to run, not waste time with a program.

Yet, she wanted to avoid the looks even more. Normally, she’d run the corridors of Chimera. She had a typical route planned. Two miles that ended at the Lounge. That morning, though, as she got dressed in sweats, her hair tied back, she knew she didn't want to see anyone.

The program itself was bootcamp for the Marines. Camp Hamika was located on Luna. A massive artificial gravity generator allowed for the whole facility - quads, building, and tracks - to raise the normal point-17G of the Moon to a standard 1G. It made running feel like Earth. It had made training just as tough. Five miles before breakfast, with full kit.

She often tried not to look back on those days. It wasn’t that they had been particularly unpleasant - well, okay. They had been. It was simply that she remembered well the reasons. Why she had joined. Why she had pushed herself. The Why was what she didn’t want to look back on.

Natalya Markova kept her eyes ahead, as her legs carried her across the rocky surface. The Camp had been set under a colossal dome that stretched high above the horizon. The buildings were typical Starfleet fabricated panels, and girders. The quads had been paved concrete. The tracks, the areas beyond the enfenced compound. That was pure Luna rock. Part of her focus was on not stumbling, and twisting an ankle. Part of it was on the striking line of the horizon.

The almost perfect line of rock grey, and the black of space. Space. Her stride faltered for a heartbeat as she remembered. Remembered that moment, of being in space between the two ships. Being... in nothing. It had been the most terrifying moment of her life. Also, the most exhilarating. There was always something about fear. It jacked the adrenaline into overdrive. It drove the body onward, even when the mind didn’t know what to do. Fear could be powerful.

It had been stupid. A foolish, stupid thing to do. But, as she had told Alex. What other choice had there been? What else could she have done? Her stride was back now, as her mind ticked over the situation. It was always better to do ’some’ thing in the moment, rather than figuring out the ’best’ thing later.

That was what her Officer Candidate School instructors had said. Make a choice at the time, and stick to it. A not-perfect plan is better than no plan. Did she have a plan? Her life had just been trying to get away, really. Away from the boredom of home. Away from the shit-show that had been Fort Yarrick. Away from Earth. What was the goal?

She didn’t have an answer. She didn’t have a destination. All she had was the ship, a job, her runs. And Alex.

Sex wasn’t a foreign concept to her. She was far from innocent. So why did the man have that damned ability to raise her heart rate so? It had been a fun night, after the Halloween party. No different really than almost any other night she had shared with someone. The minutia were almost always new. But the general principle - have fun, go home, move on. That had been the same. So why was he affecting her so much?

Nat tried to shake the thoughts off. It wasn’t important, and it didn’t matter. It didn’t stop them from doing their jobs. Her mind went back to just before boarding the freighter. Their conversation in the equipment room. He had come down to see her off, after a fashion. Why? She didn’t get it. She also didn’t know why it had irritated her so much. A part of him had just been doing his joib. A part of her knew that. Yet, she had been irritated anyway.

Nat slowed her pace, and came to a stop with a weary sigh. Her head wasn’t on the run, clearly. This was why she hated the Holodeck. It gave her mind things to look at other than the run. Sent her thoughts off in different directions. The corridors were home. The corridors were familiar. The corridors were not new.

“Computer, end program.”

Camp Hamika dissolved into the black-and-yellow grid of the Holodeck. She wasn’t in the headspace for a run. Nat tossed the towel she had brought around her neck, letting it hang in front of her.

She had picked Holodeck 3 for her run, because it was on the same deck as the ship’s Lounge - and not too far. She still wanted her after-run drink. The walk wasn’t too bad. The hour meant she didn’t pass many people. It wasn’t as if her actions had been posted on the ship’s bulletin board, but somehow people still found out. People would still judge, even if it was kept inside their own minds.

Nat stepped into the Lounge, and saw it barely half full. A few eyes followed her as she went to the bar. Her shoulders tightened at the feeling. That sixth sense of being watched.

“Well hello, Captain.” One of Michelle’s staff - Nat could not remember his name, and felt embarrassed to ask at this point - greeted her with a broad smile. “Your usual?”

Nat glanced to the left and right of her. She was being watched, all right. “Yeah. Can I get that to go?”

The Staff member just nodded, blessedly not poking at the request. Her smoothie came, in a convenient travel cup, and Nat picked it up, heading for the door. She saw Alex walk in, his eyes noticed her, but before he could say anything, Nat shook her hair onto that side of her face, obscuring his line of sight, and walked past.

She didn’t know why, but something was just throwing her off. She had to try and avoid making crap worse, until she could resettle whatever it was that was making her feel...off.

OFF